Lost and Found, by Jennifer Keltcher-Delisle

I used to live in a bubble
of confusion and disorder
of illusions and dreams
of a grown child

I used to live in a dark place
where the waves raged
and the water
black and bitter
fed me

I used to live in the depths
of my own self grandeur
my own fragile vanity
egotism
arrogant
and I was a victim

But even the most
embedded virus
can be birthed
out of its disease
and into the display
of a newborn

Here I am
Here I find myself
lost as never before
cold and tired
and the world rejoiced
for She has arrived!

Where once I survived
the only way I knew how
I am defenseless in this place
I do not know
I do not know

Its a brave new world
or so they say
the path traveled by one and all
for all must age
for all must mature
for all must die

I cannot go backwards
I have learned to stand on
wobbly legs
immature mind
learning responsibilities
and yet

That not so distant past
calling to me
I hear it in my dreams
the enclosing
the warmth of sickness

I will grow stronger
a new soul
a new mind
hope is the seed of life
and the Bible says
that if one has faith
as a mustardseed
then one can move mountains
or so it says

Can I move a mountain
Can I swim a sea
Can I dream a good dream
Can I open my eyes and really see

Is this what life is?

It calls to me
I hear it now
yesterday
last night
a moment ago

I cannot go home.

-JKD @ Feb 2008