Where I Am Now, by Tamara Miles

I am a colorful contradiction.

I wonder what suffering mixed with redemption makes.

I hear Prince singing “Purple Rain, Purple Rain.”

I see my reflection in the mirror, and

I want a robe and crown.

I am a colorful contradiction.

I pretend to say “Let them eat cake.”

I feel ashamed.

I touch my guilty heart for reassurance.

I worry that I haven’t given enough love in this world, that I have been an emotional cannibal.

I cry over the schoolchildren buried in rubble from an earthquake.

I am a colorful contradiction.

I understand that the walls are falling down.

I say, “I will share my bread with you” and then hide the basket.

I dream that Jesus takes the loaves and feeds the world.

I try to ignore the cries of hunger.

I hope that for every day my belly has been full I have done a good thing.

I am a colorful contradiction.